/Slog AM: Bezos Is Back on the Market, King County Homeless Deaths Hit Record High, Protect Our Strippers

Slog AM: Bezos Is Back on the Market, King County Homeless Deaths Hit Record High, Protect Our Strippers

Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos call it quits.

Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos call it quits. CHIP SOMODEVILLA/GETTY

Homeless deaths hit record high: The number of homeless people who die every year in King County has more than doubled over the last six years, with 2018 likely being the deadliest on record. According to a preliminary count, 191 people died in King County compared to 169 last year of causes ranging from heart disease, gunshot wounds, and suicide. It’s not yet clear what is driving this trend—deaths have not increased at the same rate as the homeless population—but some experts think the rise of synthetic opioids like fentanyl contribute to the increase in overdose deaths we see in Seattle.

Say hello to Seattle’s newest bachelor: I’ll give you a hint, he’s bald, has very famous balls, and may be the richest man on the planet. That’s right, Jeff Bezos and his wife of 25 years, MacKenzie, announced they are splitting up. My rebound prediction is he falls in love with Alexa.

The Oval Office: During a nine minute teleprompter tirade on primetime news last night, President Trump said basically nothing new. I’ll be honest, I didn’t watch it. Apparently, neither did Stranger staff who were busy watching Stormy Daniels address (or rather undress) the nation while folding laundry in her underwear. Not even Trump wanted to make the speech and that guy loves a news camera more than Mike Tyson loves pigeons. Unsurprisingly, the Democrats were not moved by his speech and the government is still very much shutdown.

Protect strippers at all cost: A Washington state House Representative and Senator are considering introducing workplace safety bills for “exotic dancers” to help protect them from economic exploitation and shitty patrons. Leave it to Crosscut to write the most sexless article about strippers possible, but definitely read it. Most dancers start the night off way in the red after paying the club to work, tipping the bouncers so they don’t worry about their own safety, and throwing some money toward the DJ. So next time you’re sitting in Deja Vu or Showgirls or wherever you like, don’t be cheap.

Love Gun: We are only nine days into 2019 and a gun shop owner has already found multiple loopholes in the I-1639, the new law that prohibits the sale of semiautomatic weapons to children (ya know, all those kids under 21). The store owner, Tiffany Teasedale, believes that I-1639 doesn’t ban semiautomatic shotguns sale because those guns use shells instead of bullet cartridges or magazines. How hard is it to write a bill that actually does what it’s supposed to?

“It doesn’t seem like anybody who wrote it has ever even touched a firearm, let alone know how any of the background check systems work, how any of the firearms work, or have even shot one or handled one,” [Teasedale] said.

Breaking news: It’s probably going to be grey and wet today. But at least it won’t be windy in Seattle! Wind advisory is still in effect to the east and the Cascades are going to get a healthy dumping of snow, especially Stevens Pass which could see up to three feet of snow (let’s shred it).

Speaking of Stevens Pass: Longtime patrons of the ski destination are hoping Vail Resorts, who just recently bought Stevens Pass, will pump some much needed money into the park. Starting with parking. If you’ve ever been there on the weekend, you’d know if you aren’t there by 9 a.m. then you’re fucked. Also, some of the lifts are as old as time itself so people want those replaced too.

Poacher gets Bumble comeuppance: An Oklahoma woman decided to impress a guy on the dating app Bumble by bragging about the “bigo buck” (I guess big ole’ buck) she had just shot illegally. What she didn’t know was that guy was an Oklahoma Game Warden. He showed up the next morning to haul her off to the police station. Also shoutout to the lede of the article, “‘Cuffing season’ took on a whole new definition for a McIntosh County woman…’”

Local man accused of killing brother with a sword: The 26-year-old man named Buckey Wolfe who prosecutors believe suffer from mental illness, told the 911 dispatcher that God told him his brother was a lizard and to kill him. He later told police that he was diagnosed with schizophrenia.

Tonight’s best Seattle entertainment options include: The start of the multidisciplinary festival of solo performances Sovereign: Black Queer One Womyn Show Festival, a chance to check out Shellfish Showcase menu offerings, and an evening of bright indie rock with Dreamcatchr, Cold Comfort, and Forest Ray.